Healthy Bread in 5; Bread Braid : Epi and Spicy Crackers

by jenjenk on January 14, 2010

I am the worst when it comes to sticking to a timeline. I find them too restrictive.  So  not surprisingly, here I find myself on Wednesday night, the only night I have available before the January 15th due date for the first bread braid.  There is NO way I was going to flake out on the very first project of the year.

I mixed up the dough on Tuesday evening, understanding that it was going to be a “wet” dough but still concerned that it was really, really wet.  After work on Wednesday, I went straight into my kitchen as soon as I walked through the door, well, because my back door is attached to my kitchen.  But the point here is that I got straight to work.
I decided to start on the Epi because I thought it was so pretty!  I stretched and pulled  and let the dough rest…stretched and pulled some more with a snip-snip here and a snip-snip there.  The more I snipped, the goopier it was getting.  That’s when I realized that I was supposed to let it rest & rise before I snipped it. In addition to my problem with procrastination, I’m also really bad at reading instructions. Scrapped and started again.
Once I let it rest and rise, I did my snipparooo.  I examined my work. I couldn’t figure out why my Epi looked so flat.  I look at the picture in the cookbook. Nice and puffy. I looked back at mine. Flat and pankcakey. Hmmmm. I was about to stick it in the oven when I realized that I needed a baking stone.  I mentally searched my brain as to its location. ARGH. Store room. The room that contained boxes and boxes of stuff – and the baking stone underneath ALL the boxes up against the wall.  I got scared and pretended like I didn’t own one.
As i waited for the Epi to bake, I decided to start on my spicy chips.  I began rolling out the dough. I was completely baffled by how I could best combat the stickiness and wetness of the dough. I ended up dusting on enough flour to build a small child. From scratch.  I grumbled, I growled, and I rolled. After I brushed on the oil, I started sprinkling the chili powder on little by little, using all but a teeeny weeeny bit.  I looked down and realized that it was on a bit thick.
Hmmm…read the instructions again and realized that there was supposed to be leftover chili powder. Crap.  Well, there goes that.  During my brief reading of the instruction, I saw that the instructions called for a pizza wheel.  A pizza wheel??? What the HECK would I be doing with a pizza wheel??  I mentally visualized my utensil drawer.  Hmmmm…well, ok, theoretically, ANYTHING could be in that thing including a pizza wheel and a tire jack.
[Friends, please note, if I ever tell you that I NEED a utensil, remember this photo and realize that I am lying to you and that my pants are on fire.  Also, if you happen to see my mom, please don’t tell her that I actually posted up a photo of my utensil drawer for all the world to see.  If she were dead, she’d be turning in her grave.  Thankfully, she’s still alive and quite able to yell at me for shaming her and all the generations of women who have gone before her.]
Sadly, my crackers came out more like the bread and my bread had the consistency of the crackers.  Quite unfortunate but it most definitely tasted wonderful! Better luck next time [hey, who knows…perhaps I’ll read the instructions THOROUGHLY first.  naaaahhhh]
**Los Angeles friends: SweetTartelette will be teaching a food styling and photography class on Saturday, March 6th from 2pm – 5pm.  There are only a few spots left, so if you’re interested, please email Rachael [at] lafujimama [dot] com to reserve your spot! [see below at the macaron entry for additional information on the class]
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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

Michelle January 15, 2010 at 7:22 pm

You sound just like me and I am so awful about reading the entire recipe so I am prepped. I scan the ingredients just to make sure I can make the recipe but rarely ever read the directions until too late.

BTW, I have 4 utensil drawers and even though I regularly organize them, it's not a 2 days and they're all back to a disorganized mess!

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SavoringTime in the Kitchen January 15, 2010 at 10:04 pm

I'm usually in a rush too and forget to read the entire recipe and then I realize I don't have all the ingredients I needed! Too bad about your bread – I'm sure you'll have better luck next time.

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Fuji Mama January 16, 2010 at 3:51 am

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, I can barely breathe I am laughing so hard! You are HILARIOUS! That commentary on showing your utensil drawer? I almost peed by pants. All that's left to say? You go girl.

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Cristie January 16, 2010 at 5:30 am

Honestly. That's what thee world needs. Love your post. I can't count the number of dishes I've made and completely messed up to the point that no one could consume them. It must be the human condition to not be perfect. Welcome to the club.

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Megan January 16, 2010 at 5:55 pm

You had me cracking up. Loved the post!!!
Bread like crackers, and crackers like bread will keep me smiling all week. Have a great weekend!

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Jen January 16, 2010 at 6:11 pm

Thanks, ladies, for the encouragement!! I'm determined to try the crackers again!! I just love them too much not to!!

Rachael – you KNOW how my mom must be, having lived in japan! :)

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Chow and Chatter January 16, 2010 at 7:15 pm

oh cpme on your did fine, love your blog and way of writing thanks for visiting mine lol rebecca

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Danielle January 16, 2010 at 8:24 pm

haha….ya, my pants would be on fire too! I have a few of those drawers too! and cabinets that are stuffed!
Im the hands on kind of person so I figure its useless for me to read the instructions first. It's not like I'm going to retain any of the info haha

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GA Jane January 17, 2010 at 4:26 pm

I am not the only one with a drawer like that.
Great post!

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Kim January 17, 2010 at 4:37 pm

My utensil drawer looks the same way. Sometimes I can't even close it. Looking forward to baking along with you!!

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Old Pop January 18, 2010 at 4:17 pm

I thoroughly enjoy your posts. My utensil drawers, however, are very well organized. My workbench, however ….

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Jen January 19, 2010 at 4:27 am

I think EVERYONE should now be required to show photos of their drawers!! [all in an effort to make me feel better, of course] =) thanks, everyone…i enjoy taking and sharing this journey with you guys!!!

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Sonja @ ActiveFoodie January 19, 2010 at 4:59 am

Hahahaha!!! Oh my goodness, this is so funny because I can totally relate! :) I can't tell you how many times i've done the exact same thing with recipes, I skim, do something, then realized I did the totally wrong thing, or added the wrong amount just because I didn't feel like reading more carefully. Woops!

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